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Welcome back, friends and degenerates! It’s time to strap in and throw down for the last ro-day-o of the 2017 PGA Tour season. The TOUR Championship presented by Coca-Cola is here — and so is our last chance at making some money for nothing (though, most of us will still pay for our chicks, be it via some agreed upon currency exchange or marriage or something … but I digress).

The top 30 players in FedExCup points have  made their way to East Lake, ready to battle for $10 million and a really neat Coke machine. Oh, and the actual FedEx “Cup.”

This year’s edition of the TOUR Championship presented by Coca-Cola promises to be one of the best in recent memory — and now that I’ve said that, you can bet it’ll be a snooze fest. A route, over and out, by Saturday night.

Which is why it is imperative that we bet and bet heavy. After all, it isn’t we mortals trying to put balls in holes for an eight figure paycheck, it’s those guys. So — they only way this matters is to get some of our own skin in the game.

Call me what you will, but nothing is as enjoyable as it is when you’ve got something riding on it. Don’t care if it’s my nephew’s t-ball game or what’s going to happen when the elderly lady hits the patch of black ice — the juice makes it worth the squeeze.

So here it is — our last chance at making some extra scratch to hide from the wife. Get your pencils ready and take note:

TOUR Championship
East Lake Golf Club – Atlanta, Georgia
September 21- 24, 2017

ODDS to Win:
Jordan Spieth 5/1
Dustin Johnson 7/1
Rickie Fowler 8/1
Jason Day 10/1
Jon Rahm 10/1
Justin Thomas 10/1
Justin Rose 12/1
Hideki Matsuyama 15/1
Paul Casey 15/1
Marc Leishman 15/1
Matt Kuchar 20/1
Brooks Koepka 20/1
Sergio Garcia 25/1
Kevin Chappell 30/1
Patrick Cantlay 30/1
Patrick Reed 40/1
Charley Hoffman 40/1
Daniel Berger 30/1
Webb Simpson 40/1
Tony Finau 50/1
Gary Woodland 50/1
Pat Perez 60/1
Jason Dufner 60/1
Kevin Kisner 80/1
Xander Schauffele 80/1
Russell Henley 80/1
Kyle Stanley 100/1
Adam Hadwin 100/1
Brian Harman 100/1
Jhonattan Vegas 100/1

Mortal Locks:

Jordan Spieth — If you’re betting against Jordan Spieth for any other reason than you just don’t want to risk the small fortune you’d need to bet to make any real significant money, then you’re the dumbest person alive. Like, a drunk waving a red blanket in your underwear during the running of the bulls who just ingested a handful of blood thinners-dumb. Jordan Spieth is — probably — going to take everyone to the woodshed this week. To be completely honest, the rest of this piece is essentially a contingency plan. At 5/1, Spieth is the only bet you SHOULD make — but I also SHOULD drive the posted speed limit and I SHOULD eat vegetables. But temptation is harder to ignore than the elephant you’re not supposed to think about.

Marc Leishman — Marc Leishman currently sits 4th in FedExCup points, controls his own destiny and won the BMW Championship last week — and is still the 10th most likely player to win the TOUR Championship based on the odds. At 15/1, and with all the momentum he’s currently riding, Leishman is probably the best contingency plan on the board. He offers some real return on investment should he win and playing well enough that this is more than just a shot in the dark. I’m sure he will be nipping at Spieth’s heels, a mere 10-shots back on Sunday.

Bang for Your Buck:

Patrick Cantlay — If something goes wrong on the weekend, don’t be surprised to see the eventual FedExCup champ sharing the stage at trophy presentation time with Patrick Cantlay. His story is well-documented and he deserves all the high praise he has gotten. With that in mind, there’s a better chance “One Night in Paris” wins an Oscar or that I start drinking Pepsi than Cantlay has of winning the $10 million top prize, but he could definitely win the tournament the way he’s currently playing. And that’s why — at 30/1 — I’m taking the action.

Charley Hoffman — My counter part at Razzball golf mentioned living in a world where Charley Hoffman was a $10 million FedExCup Champion in “Players/Posers” this week and I have to say, I don’t think there has ever been a more utopian society crafted by anyone in any day dream ever. At 40/1, I’m not going to bet the farm, but I’ll put down my proof that I signed off on this future.

Fun Under $5:

Brian Harman — Some men just want to watch the world burn — and I’m one of them. Usually, it’s because I’m the only one with stock in lighter fluid. That said, Harman is already in the midst of his best professional season and is from Georgia. Playing a home game with nothing to lose? When I say betting on Brian Harman is a solid choice, I’m not being even the slightest bit obtuse. At 100/1 and up against what he’s up against, I wouldn’t go crazy here — but he’s certainly worth a look.

There your have it, friends and degenerates! If this isn’t enough to get your juices flowing this weekend, see if anyone will give you odds of some prop bets. There’s got to be a house out there somewhere offering action on how much ice water Johnny Miller throws on the winner, how many times NBC shows a picture of Spieth and Thomas as young cronies or how many times they mention Rory McIlroy and the Masters.

On all accounts, take the over.

Until next time, go and choose wisely…

-Golfstradamus.

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