(Courtesy: Caribbean National Weekly)

Hello, friends and degenerates! It’s time once again to weed out the weak from the strong! The players from the posers! The best from the rest! This week, the PGA Tour rolls into Orlando for the Arnold Palmer Invitational — the next chance to line your pockets with income your wife doesn’t know about!

Last week was frustrating to say the least — though I did make some money on Paul Casey’s win, having taken action on his future a few months back. That said, the week was certainly humbling and, to be honest, I have no interest it talking about it.

It’s like Tom Petty once said — “God, it’s such a drag when you’re living in the past.” — So I’m looking to the future! And the future is now.

The Arnold Palmer Invitational is one of the year’s favorite stops on Tour — even since the passing of the King and tournament namesake, Arnold Palmer, in 2016.

Here’s a look at my can’t-miss, no-doubt, sure-fire, mortal locks for the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill:

Arnold Palmer Invitational
Bay Hill Club & Lodge – Orlando, Florida
March 15 – 18, 2018

ODDS to Win:
Tiger Woods 6/1
Jason Day 12/1
Justin Rose 14/1
Rickie Fowler 12/1
Rory McIlroy 18/1
Tommy Fleetwood 20/1
Hideki Matsuyama 25/1
Tyrrell Hatton 25/1
Alex Noren 25/1
Henrik Stenson 30/1
Bubba Watson 30/1
Patrick Reed 30/1
Adam Scott 25/1
Brian Harman 30/1
Marc Leishman 40/1
Louis Oosthuizen 50/1
Brandt Snedeker 40/1
Kiradech Aphibarnrat 50/1
Emiliano Grillo 50/1
Francesco Molinari 50/1
Jason Kokrak 50/1
Luke List 50/1
Jamie Lovemark 50/1
Kevin Kisner 60/1
Kevin Chappell 50/1
Zach Johnson 60/1
Cameron Smith 60/1
Byeong Hun An 60/1
Kevin Na 60/1
Sam Burns 60/1
Matthew Fitzpatrick 80/1
Ryan Moore 80/1
Charley Hoffman 80/1
Keegan Bradley 80/1
Charl Schwartzel 80/1
Russell Knox 80/1
Ollie Schniederjans 80/1
Scott Piercy 80/1
Kyle Stanley 80/1
Patton Kizzire 80/1
Jimmy Walker 80/1
James Hahn 80/1
Charles Howell III 100/1
Bryson DeChambeau 100/1
Martin Laird 100/1
Kevin Streelman 100/1
Scott Stallings 100/1
Lucas Glover 100/1
Austin Cook 100/1
J.B. Holmes 125/1
Shane Lowry 125/1
Sam Saunders 125/1
Patrick Rodgers 125/1
William McGirt 125/1
Chesson Hadley 125/1
Chris Kirk 125/1
Haotong Li 150/1
Beau Hossler 150/1
Peter Uihlein 150/1
Hudson Swafford 150/1
Bud Cauley 150/1
Ian Poulter 150/1
Anirban Lahiri 150/1
Si Woo Kim 150/1
Billy Horschel 150/1
Ben Martin 150/1
Harris English 150/1
Graeme McDowell 150/1
Sean O’Hair 150/1
Brandon Harkins 150/1
John Huh 150/1
Aaron Wise 200/1
Curtis Luck 200/1
Grayson Murray 200/1
Luke Donald 250/1
Ted Potter, Jr. 250/1
Hunter Mahan 250/1
Danny Willett 250/1
Satoshi Kodaira 300/1
Field (all others) 15/1

Mortal Locks: 

Tiger Woods — I have to be honest, I really don’t want to bet on Tiger this week, especially at 6/1, but I feel like I have to. Like it’s my job. Like, if I don’t and he wins I’ll be absolutely ridiculed. I want to be on the right side of history here, so I’m taking the action. There’s enough evidence to support the choice, so I’m not exactly going to lose sleep over this bet, but I’m not sold he’s built up the game-speed stamina to pull this off in back-to-back weeks. Then again, this is Tiger we’re talking about and, thus, anything is possible.

Justin Rose — My REAL favorite pick this week is Justin Rose. For me, there’s just no better action on someone with a real chance to win than Rose. At 14/1, the return on investment is excellent — especially when you figure his track record at Bay Hill is almost as solid as his recent form. Take the action on Rose.

Bang for Your Buck: 

Matthew Fitzpatrick –In this section this week, I’ve got two young guns from the European Tour who are going to breakthrough in the U.S. in the near future. First on that list, is Matthew Fitzpatrick. Fitzpatrick has had a solid start to his 2018 seasons here and in Europe and is ready to win. At 80/1, he presents a great value for someone looking to make some fast money.

Cameron Smith — Already one of the most notable young stars on the PGA Tour, Cameron Smith is looking to pick up his first career non-team win. At 60/1, he’s as good a bet as any in that pay range.

Fun Under $5: 

Shane Lowry — One of the oft-overlooked players on Tour is Ireland’s Shane Lowry. Lowry, who hasn’t won since 2015 at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational, hasn’t exactly been getting the results he’d like recently, but he’s been showing signs of putting things together. Lowry has put together good weeks seemingly from out of nowhere, and this could be one of those weeks. At 125/1, the juice is worth the squeeze.

Sucker Bet: 

Brandt Snedeker — A lot of people have brought up Brandt Snedeker at 40/1 as a great value pick this week, but I’m passing. Sure, Sneds showed some signs of life last week at the Valspar, but he hasn’t exactly been killing it this year. I like Sneds and hope he can keep the form up as he heads into the Masters in a few weeks, but I just don’t see him stringing two great weeks together right now because it’s been so long since he has. Just because it’s shiny doesn’t mean you ought to pick it up.

There you have it, friends and degenerates. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find out what dating site Paula Creamer is on and tailor a profile to reflect her interests. Until next time, go and choose wisely…


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